As if a wikipedia-style website dedicated to the ideology of anti-Obama, anti-gay, anti-liberal, Fox-News style, right-wing, hardline evangelical U.S. Christian conservatism wasn't enough.
The Conservative Bible Project is a way to reclaim the Bible from the claws of the namby-pamby, hippy, marxist, commie, darwinising, liberal, NIV reading heretics.
No more of this 'gender inclusive' stuff, the original hebrew be damned!
Apparently the bulk of the work is going to be done by translating the KJV into modern english. Yeah, there's no way you'd get any translation errors with that. Hebrew and Greek lexicon? What's a lexicon?
They say that as of 2009, none of the existing bibles meet the ten guidelines requires to be a fully conservative translation:
- Framework against Liberal Bias: providing a strong framework that enables a thought-for-thought translation without corruption by liberal bias
- Not Emasculated: avoiding unisex, "gender inclusive" language, and other modern emasculation of Christianity
- Not Dumbed Down: not dumbing down the reading level, or diluting the intellectual force and logic of Christianity; the NIV is written at only the 7th grade level
- Utilize Powerful Conservative Terms: using powerful new conservative terms as they develop; defective translations use the word "comrade" three times as often as "volunteer"; similarly, updating words which have a change in meaning, such as "word", "peace", and "miracle".
- Combat Harmful Addiction: combating addiction by using modern terms for it, such as "gamble" rather than "cast lots"; using modern political terms, such as "register" rather than "enroll" for the census
- Accept the Logic of Hell: applying logic with its full force and effect, as in not denying or downplaying the very real existence of Hell or the Devil.
- Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning
- Exclude Later-Inserted Liberal Passages: excluding the later-inserted liberal passages that are not authentic, such as the adulteress story
- Credit Open-Mindedness of Disciples: crediting open-mindedness, often found in youngsters like the eyewitnesses Mark and John, the authors of two of the Gospels
- Prefer Conciseness over Liberal Wordiness: preferring conciseness to the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio; avoid compound negatives and unnecessary ambiguities; prefer concise, consistent use of the word "Lord" rather than "Jehovah" or "Yahweh" or "Lord God."
Now the Big Book of Multiple Choice has even more choices - now includes Fundiejelical flavour!
If all goes to plan, the Conservative Bible Project will produce a bible that U.S. Conservatives will be PROUD to standardise for use in schools.
Good luck, Comrade.
3 comments:
From the little I've seen, they also treat other topics with teh same nutty right-wing bias, even somehow managing to mangle a WW II general history article until it read like an anti-communist polemic.
W T F
Gotta be a piss-take?
Please tell me this is not true?
Paul.
You might think so, Paul, but unfortunately not.
For one thing, Conservapedia is a very real website (disturbingly).
There was some suspicion on the skeptical blogosphere that this may have started as a joke ... but it's very clear that it has taken on a life of its own!
I can't wait to see the finished bible.
Doesn't think just really underline how subjective one's interpretation of the bible can be? I mean, these people aren't happy to just read the text as they want, they're actually trying to change the entire text to fit their political and social ideology. Hehehe.
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